Desi Bridget Jones Diary

Love, Life, Relationships and a touch of the Divine!

Friday, January 31, 2014

The Awakening

Apparently a “sapiosexual is someone who is strongly attracted to the intelligence of another.”
But opposites attract, right?
With my track record, given all the dorks I’ve dated, this must mean……. I’m Einstein! Ha!
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Brigit: This is the best thing I’ve heard all week. I’m the incarnation of Einstein! Thank you Lord

God: You’re welcome! Have a glass of wine to toast all those grey cells… 

Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Sociology and the Feminine energy

Desi Brigit Jones needs to get in touch with her ‘feminine’ side – not just to succeed in her love life but in her professional life too.   Whilst working in a predominantly male office, stating that you have more ‘balls’ than all the men in the office combined is not just anatomically incorrect, it is politically incorrect. So I decided the best way to get in touch with my feminine energy would be to enroll in dance and what better form than Indian dance.  After my last tryst with the martial arts which I’d written about here, I thought I’d explore some female dance forms.

It is interesting to note that two of the popular art forms in India – Mohiniyattam, the dance of the seductress and Kalaripayattu  -  the martial arts, both come from Kerala. This means the average Mallu man (Kerala man) is either getting his ass kicked or being seduced. Given that the Mallu women folk who can kick his ass are in the Gulf working as nurses, we now know what the men folk in Kerala are up to.  No wonder it’s called ‘God’s own country’.  Ha!

All the dating gurus on the net have all talked about the ‘feminine – masculine’ polarity that is so essential to any successful courtship or marriage.  In fact, Dan Brown‘s popular best seller, ‘The Da Vinci Code’ centers around finding the feminine key.  Hmm – so evidently, the only thing stopping me from being a best-selling author as well as a successful dater is my Yin – Yang imbalance.   

During my love trawl on the net, I stumbled onto Suzanne and Satyen Raja, a ‘love coaching’ couple, who talk about getting in touch with the whole male – female dynamic.  Their tag line is “Ignite Passion now; everything else can wait”. Nice branding!  I liked their videos, which emphasize the ‘inner’ state of being’ versus technique when connecting with a loved one.  In fact, these are mandatory viewing for the average Indian male who treats the female body like a radio station – flip, turn knob 1, dial, switch, tweak knob 2… Ouch!   That’s when my masculine energy breaks forth and I sock him in the jaw. 

Hmm, yes indeed, I do need to perfect my technique - Desi Brigit Jones needs to learn to sock the guy without damaging her nails!
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God: I’m not so sure I like all those digs against Kerala men, after all Christianity came to India via Kerala.

Brigit:  I hate to disappoint you Lord, but the Mallu men who ran in joy towards St. Thomas when he landed his boat on the shores of Kerala, weren’t welcoming him, but were eyeing the caskets of wine on board.

God: You don’t say!

Brigit: Do you think it’s a coincidence that the states in India most known for their love of liquor, Kerala and Goa have a strong catholic presence?  I assure you, the spirit in those men has nothing to do with the Holy Spirit!

Wednesday, January 22, 2014

Quote for the week



Received this in my inbox today:


“Madonna is 55 her boyfriend is 22


Tina Turner is 75, her boyfriend is 40


JLo is 42, her boyfriend is 26


Mariah Carey is 44, her boyfriend is 32


Still single?  Relax; your boyfriend is not born yet!”


 Brigit: Thank you for the words of inspiration. Just make sure he goes to Montessori as well; I really need a guy who can read


God: Will do so! I’ll make sure he’s also able to help you add a Twitter URL to your blog.

Monday, January 20, 2014

The Lord’s Prayer according to the Twitterati

Our Father, 
Twitter be thy name
Thy tweetdom come,
Thy will be done
In heaven as on earth
Forgive me my tweets
As I forgive those who don’t retweet me
Amen.
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God: Now this is what I call a really big poor joke

Brigit: Sorry, I shall rinse my mouth (or is it beak?) with holy water

God: Thou shalt not use the Lords water in vain.


Sunday, January 19, 2014

Tweet, Tweet, here I come!

So I’ve finally managed to get over my technophobia and join the bandwagon of social media. Twitter it is I say!

When I was growing up, a ‘Twit’ was another word for an idiot – well I’m realizing that in today’s world if Desi Brigit Jones is not on social media, she indeed is a Twit.  So here’s to pouring another glass of wine for my first foray into Twitterdom.

What got me interested in Twitter today was the shocking tragic death of Sunanda Pushkar, wife of Indian minister Shashi Tharoor and the preceding fiasco that place on Twitter.  Can an online affair become more enticing than an offline marriage?

I’m curious, how ‘real’ are our lives now anyway. What is more real – my online persona or the regular boring mundane life I lead. I guess that’s what makes social media so fascinating; there’s a whole enticing world out there that just draws one out of one’s cubbyhole in real life.  In online relationships, you don’t know the ‘real’ person, just their delicious online avatar.  And truth be told, Desi Brigit Jones would rather fantasize being with an online ‘George Clooney’ than with a partner whom you see in the morning in pajamas and with gunk on their eyes.  However, while the online ‘distance’ kind of keeps the mystery going, a real relationship can only be built offline. Sigh…Bye, bye George Clooney!

Also, in the biblical sense of the word, one cannot ‘know’ a person virtually (at least not yet… God knows what will happen in the future with technology and 3D!).

Jonathan Ashley is a dating coach who propounds social media like Facebook, as the latest dating tool. Move over eharmony.com and match.com; Facebook it is.  In fact, Jonathan met his partner, relationship expert Dr. Shery Myers on facebook and they’re now living happily ever after – offline.  

Jonathan offers a series of tips on how to “Understand Men Now” which I have signed up for and that I read each day as part of my morning prayers. I have so far received 50 such emails and am still not able to fathom the not so fairer of the species. Guess I am a twit after all.
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Brigit: You know - I’m through with trying to understand men. I want a man who will understand ME – the temperamental behavior, the moodiness and the eccentricity which I believe is a sign of genius’ – never mind that no one else sees it that way. Surely that’s not impossible?

God: Hmmm…


Brigit: What?! That’s all you have to say! So it’s true – you are a man after all. 

Saturday, January 18, 2014

Running for the hills

Further to my last post on matchmatrix.com - The problem with online tools that match you up with a person based on your birthdate is that it’s just that – a set of numbers that is indicative but not necessarily the gospel truth.  My latest online beau, S and I have the highest compatibility (94%) as both lovers and friends according to matchmatrix.com. Yet after 4-5 months of general chatting on the phone and 1 month since our in person meeting (he lives in another city), I’m just about ready to run for the hills. 

Nowhere does such a tool capture how emotionally healed a person is from his last divorce. Is he ready to get into another relationship at all?  Given that Desi Brigit Jones is forever wearing her ‘mommy’ hat, this time round, I've decided to be prudent and step back. Nope, S had better find someone else’s bosom to cuddle into; no more 'care taking' from this lady.  It is about time I burnt that ‘Mommy hat’; we’re all hurting kids trying to find someone to take care of us and I seem to specialize in being ‘Mommy’ to hurt little boys.

It's ironic; I've finally met someone who dotes on me and wants to get married and who calls me up every single day to say “I love you” to which the ever polite Desi Brigit Jones responds with ‘Thank you!’, (After all it is a sin to lie and say “I love you too” when one doesn’t isn’t it?) and yet I find myself thinking I need to get away from this man..

Sigh, maybe this is the year I really do sign up for the “Calling in the One” course being offered by Katherine Woodward Thomas  given that all the ‘ones’ I've called in last year turned out to be toads in in disguise. No matter how much I kissed them, they still remained  toads… sigh…..

It’s about time I met my prince. May 2014 be the year I kiss my last toad ( unless he's really cute :). 
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Brigit: What is it with younger men anyway? They assume chronological age is directly proportional to experience in all facets of life. It’s so hilarious that the last young stud viewed me, staid catholic Desi Brigit Jones as Madame Kamasutra and a likely teacher in the art of lovemaking!   

God: And I thought you liked divine humor


Brigit: Hrmmp! Not when it’s at my expense!

Friday, January 17, 2014

The One

I saw this on FB the other day:

"I’ve been single for a while and

I have to say it’s going very well
Like…it’s working out..
I think I’m the one...."  :)  

Monday, January 13, 2014

The energetics of dating

It appears that Desi Brigit Jones’ prayer in the last post was answered.  The latest man in my life, S is a charming 45 year old who actually has hair on his head!  We’re good friends and I like him a lot – but I just don’t have the ‘hibbee – jibees’ as my friend describes it. While there is a mild fluttering of butterfly wings, I’m not consumed by the whirlwind tornado that I’d always thought was the hallmark of amazing chemistry.

But there is hope yet! Larry Michel on his site ‘matchmatrix.com’ talks about the ‘energetics’ of relationships and how we have our own ‘unique’ energetic mapping that is like our DNA. This influences our compatibility  with people as friends or lovers. The site looks at 4 different areas: communication style (for friends), sexual response type (for lovers), activity levels and financial logic style and come up with an individual’s energetic map based the ‘birth date’.  The tool uses the birth dates of both you and your partner to throw up your compatibility levels as ‘friends’ and as ‘lovers’. Naturally the higher you score on both aspects, the more compatible you are as partners.

Well, I’ve scored a whopping 94% with S as both friends and lovers.  And yet this is a chap I’m not wildly attracted to at all. Yes, he’s nice but that’s about it. So Match matrix then talks about ‘true’ and ‘false’ attractions; i.e. can you follow you heart or not when choosing a partner? People with ‘false’ attractions tend to be attracted to people with whom they may not be compatible with at all ( This seems to ring a very loud bell as far as I’m concerned) and the site advises one with ‘false’ attractions to persevere and not get taken in by their lukewarm response but to trust the match matrix rating.  The site allows one to check out for free compatibility levels with up to 3 people.  

So I shall ignore my ‘false attractions’ and listen to Larry Michel and give S a chance. If nothing else, it is a welcome change to have someone who dotes on you – after the last experience of the young stud who made it very evident that I was not important in his overall scheme of things. Ouch… that still hurts for some reason…. Letting go is so much easier said than done.
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Brigit: I still miss the last young man; it hurts that he makes it so clear that he doesn't give a damn about me.

God: Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.  So make a choice.

Brigit: That’s easier said than done.

God: By clinging to people who are not meant to be in your life, you delay your destiny. Let them go.

Brigit: Ok – I let him go. May he burn in hell!

God: Not quite the response I’d hoped for but I guess you’ll get there in your own time J